Thursday 11 May 2017

Every Move You Make They are There!

When I had my kids, I soon learnt that I could no NOTHING without them loitering, any mother will relate to this. You cannot eat, pee, bath or talk on the phone without a child staring at you. Having animals is the same, just multiplied by 100... well in my house it is.

I love my animals, but there are times when I just want five bloody minutes on my own to do basic things like type, eat or pee. I find that no matter what room I am in there is an animal, or two or ten, and they all want my attention. If I try and answer my phone, which is rare, Prince decides this is the perfect time to start barking. So, the person down the end of the phone gets... " Prince, prince PRINCE..... PRINCE SHUT UP."

Eating is something that has become the most difficult, the moment you sit with food, the masses descend, i'm sure they can smell food from 400 miles. No matter what you are eating there is typically a cat sat staring. If you are really unlucky all the dogs will also circle the table like sharks, waiting and watching. Even Stevie who is blind, knows when there is food, and waits just in case.

Bathroom trips have become the only time I can really be alone, remembering to close the door is essential, as if not you are soon joined by EVERYONE. Now my bathroom is not big, and it gets overcrowded very quickly. Sleeping is also a luxury, as the moment I go to bed, the cats begin to arrive, now in the winter this acts as a fantastic blanket, but 25 cats on top of you is heavy.

Stalking me is also something that can get annoying, especially as I tend to stop and change direction often, which causes a domino effect as I trip over the line of dogs and cats behind me. As I spin round, I fall over the first dog, yell move at the second one, and by the fifth or sixth animal it is total chaos. Apparently this behavior is normal, and basically I have to suck it up and retreat to the bathroom with a locked door if I want peace....... I wonder if I could move the sofa, and TV in there too.

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