Tuesday 31 July 2018


The Spanish have a term throughout the summer months to describe their kennels and facilities, they all post that they are saturated. Now according to definition this means:

1.Soaked, filled, or loaded to capacity
2. Drunk, stoned, high, having slurred speech, and unable to function.
3. Immersed in deep thoughts, terrifying, depressed, or even happy.

I can safely say reading that I am bloody saturated, and no drugs or booze are involved. Every summer I push my limits, I push the numbers, I want to say yes to everyone, but yesterday I begun the slow slog of answering people no.

Someone asked me what my capacity is here, and the simple answer is when I feel it is no longer safe. By this I mean that there are too many dogs, not due to vets or feed bills, but simply due to space. More dogs means more tension, which does mean more scuffles, and fights.

Added with the hotter temperatures, the dogs take longer to settle, and I have to stop and say no. With that little two letter word comes guilt, don't get me wrong not many people actually make me feel guilty for saying no, but I feel guilty. I actually apologized to a woman yesterday that I couldn't help.

I always feel that I am letting both people and dogs down, simple due to space, but the honest answer I could have 1000 more kennels there would always be more dogs. So, for now I will prepare the speech of I am sorry I am saturated, and get through the next month knowing the dogs I have saved are on their journey to a better life, roll on September.

Friday 27 July 2018

DIY Flycatchers

Flies are a major issue here in GC, I am convinced we are built on a landfill site, as everywhere you go there are flies. Flies in the canaries are nothing like flies in the UK, you know the ones that hover around the light bulb in the middle of the room. These are dive bombing, mass swarming, head straight in your ears, eyes, and face type flies.

Years I have tried to find something to combat the flies, I am actually getting to the point of building a huge bubble over my whole property to combat them. Actually that would solve a few issues, but hey back in the real world. Someone told me about the wine bottle trick the other day, now this peaked my interest.

Firstly, it involved drinking almost a whole bottle of wine, which is always a good thing, secondly it involved trapping the little fuckers. Any old wine will do, however, as I had to drink it I wanted to make sure it was wine I liked. So, after a long day, isn't every single day long, I had a few glasses of wine, and saved a few inches in the bottom for operation kill fly.

The concept is to place fruit in with the wine, hang somewhere and the lovely sickly smell will attract the flies. They then fly in, and are either too drunk or too stupid to fly out. The problem is I need a few of these fly catchers, so vast amounts of wine will need to be drunk, so, heavy drinking session needed .....hang on why is this a problem.

Wednesday 25 July 2018

Some People Simply Care More Than Others

I have very few friends, however, the ones I do have are amazing and care about animals as much as I do. One such lady proved the other day that she is one in a million. I had a frantic phone call one morning, a cat had turned up on her complex, which had obviously been hit by a car. Now Mrs J is not a great cat lover, but she cannot see one suffer so asked what to do.

I told her to take it to a vet if possible, and they would determine, what if anything could be done. Also to check for a chip, as very likely it had an owner, and I am always banging on that people need closure when their animals go missing, and even if this cat was going to die the owner would want to know.

I didn't speak to Mrs J until later that day, and when I did she proved why she is one of my friends. The events of her day were comical, but also showed she has a huge heart. Now, she doesn't drive, so she had to get the cat to the vets, and from what she said the cat was in agony, pooing itself, and screaming, so no taxi was going to take her.

Not owning a cat carrier, as she doesn't have cats, she used a fruit crate to carry the injured, screaming cat to the vets. Added with the fact she had just got up when the cat drama started, she hadn't brushed her hair, and had no bra on. yes she had a tshirt on, no boobies on display.

Off she went to the vets, no bra, screaming cat trying to escape from the fruit crate. On arrival at the vets she was out of breath, hot, stressed and covered in cat poo. The vets said they didn't think the cat would survive, so Mrs J asked them to scan the cat for a chip, whilst waffling about closure, and owners needing to know.

The cat had a chip, so the vets tried phoning them, but no answer, Mrs J then begged them to tell her the name of the owner, and the complex, as she wanted to find them. Information in hand off she went to find some stranger to tell them their cat was likely to die any minute.

Now here, many complexes are gated, so when she reached the right one, she was hot, annoyed, and wondering what the hell she was doing as she didn't like cats! She banged on the main gates until someone let her in, and then begun asking people where the owner lived.

Finally she found him, and he rushed off to the vets, she went home, got dressed, popped a bra on and off to work she went. A few days later the man saw her in the street, how he recognized her fully dressed and hair brushed I do not know, but he did.

Apparently the cat had died, but he was so thankful that she had taken the time to find him, so he could say goodbye. Amazing what one random act of kindness can achieve, and I am proud that she listens when I spout crap.

Thursday 19 July 2018

I Want To work With Animals... Can I Help Out?

I get messaged a lot asking if I take on volunteers, and "kids" for the summer holidays as they REAAALLLLLYYYY want to work with animals. When the parents message and claim this, it actually means my kid is being a fucker, and I want them out of the house, so please take them.

The problem is with people "helping" is that typically I become a baby sitting service, watching that they close gates, and don't get too close to Magic, and don't let animals out, so it is all very stressful. Also many of the people who state "I want to work with animals" in fact want to sit and cuddle dogs, nothing more, not actually help.

So, when I had a message from one of my shop volunteers that a young girl wanted to help out, I admit I ignored it.  However, she volunteered in the shop, and the feedback was good, so I started to chat with her, and there was potential. She had bright blue hair, and was quirky, so that was a good start.

The day came when she was coming with me to help for the day, so vets first... Ricardo needed his dressings changing which involves blood... when she said she didn't like blood, I thought it was just one of those things that people say. Nope she really doesn't do blood.

One minute she was stood behind me, the next she had turned a very pale color and was gone. I commented that she wanted to work with animals he said " they all say that" we laughed and carried on, After the dressings were put back on I told her it was safe to return.

The day carried on with the usual cleaning, feeding, and pounds, not much cuddling sorry, but she listened, took on board everything I said, saw the harsh reality of an owner walking their terrified dog into the pound, and survived.  I dropped her home, tired and dirty but with a better understanding of "working with animals"

Our little blue haired volunteer has returned, which did amaze me, she has been back to the vets, been bitten more than once, has cleaned out kennels, and even endured transport.

Slowly, slowly I am molding her into one of us..... I think she should be very afraid!

Monday 16 July 2018

Trudging On!

I have been quiet recently, sorry haters  I am still here, just hot, tired and stressed. You can always tell what time of year it is by my answer to people when they message, in the summer months the conversation goes like this:

"hi how are you?"


In the winter they go like this:

"hi how are you?"


Every year the same, the summer months are tough, financially, mentally and physically. I am not getting any younger, and every year I feel the struggle more, and do wonder why I do this. The summer heat has come later this year, and thankfully we have only had a couple of unbearable days... so far!

So, normal service will be resumed soon I promise, loads to moan and write about, too many dogs, too many cases, not enough money, but hey

"Rescue dogs they said, it would be fun they said"

Tuesday 10 July 2018

Slow Boat Restaurant!

Injecting humor into what I do is essential, many days are shitty, long, hard, and emotional, and if I did not find a way to laugh then I would sit in the corner and cry. Don't get me wrong, I do also sit in the corner and cry, but occasionally in a really shitty situation, I find myself being funny.

Now, I am one of those people that think I'm funny, others may disagree, but I find what I say amusing, and even if I laugh alone, I have made one person laugh... ok so it was me!

Perfect example, we were at the kill pound the other day, not the happiest of places, doing what we do. When a woman asked why I was taking so many dogs.... before anyone could reply with a sensible answer I told her I owned a Chinese restaurant.

I thought this was funny, the dog catchers and volunteers found this funny, the woman did NOT find this funny. She stood stared at me and in one high pitched voice went "serio" I said yep, the volunteer stepped in and said no, I owned a protectora..... people spoil all my fun!

The woman asked what my organisation was called, and I could not resist as I simply said "Slow Boat Restaurant" At this point she was seriously not amused, I however, chuckled and wandered off, come on people lighten up , its a shitty world and we need humor!

Sunday 8 July 2018

Personal Space Issues!

I am one of those people that walk around with an invisible bubble protecting my personal space, and my skin crawls when people attempt to get closer than I want. I remember the day when I learnt all about "personal space" at school when the teacher told us all to imagine the "bubble" how this was our personal space, and you could keep people out.. bliss!

This lesson obviously caused great amusement to a bunch of kids who ran around pretending to pop each others bubbles, with the bad boys teasing the quieter girls about how they were popping their bubbles, some things never change!

Now, I don't consider that I have a problem with personal space, it is plain and simple, do NOT enter my bubble. I'm open, honest, will divulge personal crap about me on a daily basis, however, stand too close to me in the shops, or sit next to me in a waiting room, and I will attempt to find any possible way to escape.

Before you think it is simply strangers that cause this reaction, I can clarify that it is everyone. Stranger danger is the least of my problems, it is the same with people I know, and I have this look of please don't hug me everywhere I go. Even simply talking to me sometimes can be a struggle for even the people closest to me.

Therefore, last week was a huge challenge not only did I have builders here, but I had a new volunteer. I had to let people in to my bubble, I had to speak, interact, and be relatively nice. Don't get me wrong the builders, and Miss L are all lovely, but coping with humans for longer than an hour is draining.

So, on top of everything else last week I had to pretend to be a normal human being... god that shit is exhausting!

Wednesday 4 July 2018

Ricardo the Wonder Pod

Ricardo is lucky to be alive, and for that reason I decided to help him, is it likely to send my vets bill through the roof, hell yes, but any dog that survives being dragged down the road, and then left for four days before treatment, deserves a chance.

Ricardo is a Podenco, not a breed I rush to help, however, he is a dog, and those I help every day. he was tied to his loving owners back bumper and dragged down the road, causing horrific injuries. The Policia found him, still attached to the car, but needless to say no chip so the idiot owners pleas of not his dog were believed.

he was taken to a holding pound, where there is no funds to treat the dogs, so he sat in agony for four long days, before I was asked to help.

At that point, I honestly though he was going to loose his legs, due to infection, or worse, but Ricardo is a fighter. his legs were far worse than we anticipated, and he had seven different breaks and fractures, and both his hips are broken.

Yet, his tail wags and he lifts his head to greet you, Ricardo is a wonder Pod.
He has had the first surgery, and his legs are healing, due to no skin it will take longer, but all going well. He has a further two surgeries in the future, but these are predicted to be a success, due to his grit and determination, Ricardo has not given up, which means I am sure as hell not going to.

Thankfully Ricardo has his own fanclub, and the support for this dog is great with several different fund raisers to help with his vets bills. He also has his own page on FB where this cheeky pod updates with photos and witty statements, usually about a crazy lady... hmmmm