Parrots are an animal that I don't like, actually there are very few birds that I do like, unless they remain firmly by my feet. Birds flapping around my head, and squawking, have no appeal to me, and parrots and I have no love for each other. So, it was fantastic when I was asked to rehome a parrot, my main goal was to get it in a home that wasn't mine as fast as I possibly could.
The first challenge was to collect the parrot, thankfully it was in a cage, so I decided no eye contact, was needed. In the boot it went, but the whole time, I could feel his beedy little eyes staring at me, but I was fine, he was caged. Suddenly, he wanted to be friends.. "Hola" came from the parrot, now I didnt want to be friends, so I decided ignoring him was the way forward.
He repeated "Hola" "Hola" "Hola" "Hola" for 10 solid minutes, so up went the stereo, and I continued to ignore him, hoping he would get the hint, well it works with my children. Suddenly, he stopped talking, thank the lord, it had worked.
How stupid was I, it had taken a breath to come back with a stream of "madre puta" and "Joder" this parrot swore more than me! So, all the way home I had to listen to loud parrot abuse. Once at home I had to settle it in, in fact I threw a blanket over the cage and left it alone.
Now under the covers it was quiet, so I decided when it was driven to its new home the next day, covered was the way forward. This plan was working perfectly, I had no parrot abuse, the sun was shining, and then the Guardia stepped out in front of the car.
No cause for concern, I had all paperwork, for me, car, and parrot, smiling sweetly at the Guardia he looked at the paperwork, and then asked to see the parrot. Oh REALLY! My heart sank, I knew what this small, feathered foul mouthed creature was capable of. The cover came off, and the Guardia smiled, as the parrot nicely said "hola" he replied with an amused "hola"
He turned, he went to walk, I threw the cover on as fast as I could, but I was too slow, the bloody parrot let rip. I had no where to run, no where to hide, as the parrot decided today was going to be his main display of current Spanish swear words, all directed at the man with the gun. In fact I should have asked him to shoot the bloody thing, but all I could think to say was " I am sooooooooo sorry"
Thankfully, he saw the funny side of things, and even called over all the other men to listen to a stream of parrot abuse. Ten minutes later, I was allowed to recover him, and continue on my way.
One parrot was safely dropped off at his new home, he remained covered whilst I was there, and I accidentally forgot to mention his wide choice of words.