I have some great friends, we don't need to speak often, and the odd random message can lift a crappy day. One of my friends lives here on the other side of the island, she owns a goat farm, and makes amazing cheese. She is talented, and wise, and I would like to say far more sensible than me.
Mrs L has a small Pygmy goat that she would like to breed from, so when Horns arrived her eyes lit up, and she begun to plot romantic dinners for the goats. A few messages were passed, but due to chaotic lives nothing much came from the plans of our goats getting it on.
Randomly I received a message the other day from Mrs L asking how the leg was, and after we got through the small talk she jumped in with the goat talk. She was still looking to get the goats together, and asked if she could borrow Horns for a few hours.
Now this may sound straight forward, as goats are horny 28 hours of the day, but Horns is in with my sheep, which means catching the little speedy goat would be a challenge. I told her she was more than welcome to chase him around, pop him in with his date and let nature take it's course.
She, however, had other ideas, she messaged back with "oh can't you just pop it in a turkey baster for me" Now I'm one of those "would do anything for my friends" type person, however, pleasuring my pygmy goat, and popping the results in a turkey baster simply wasn't going to happen.
So, for now Horns is safe he has not got to go on any awkward dates, or have anyone playing with his man hood. Mrs L has got to come up with a plan B that doesn't involve some goat porn, a dark room and a turkey baster, and I can breath a sigh of relief that I can keep my hands clean.