Friday, 18 October 2019

What Have I done!

I have some epic ideas, well I think they are epic, and then usually after a while I think oh god what have I done. This happened the other day, I had an idea a while ago. It took a while to create, and plan and when it finally came together, I announced it, that is when I sat and cried, and had sick in my mouth.

You may be wondering what on earth caused such a reaction, well it was the volunteer program! To some this may seem like the most amazing idea in the world, to me it fills me with dread. I am letting complete strangers into my world, and releasing them back into the real world, armed with so much ammunition.

Now, this can go either way, as I know from experience, they will either understand, support, and become a voice for my charity. Or they will not understand, and use the whole experience against me. Trust me this has happened in the past, which is why I'm nervous.

There are days when I think the volunteer program is a fantastic ideas, and there are other days where I simply sit with my head in my hands, thinking what the hell am I doing! I don'y have many volunteers, and the ones I do have are great. Sadly some have tried it, and it simply wasn't for them.

In the past I have had people come to "help" that have been well shall we say useless. Scared of big dogs, refusing to pick up shit covered bedding, hating cats, horses, anything bigger than a jack russel to be honest. They have spent the whole of their time with me telling me how I could "improve" my rescue and detailing what i am doing wrong.

Now don't get me wrong, we all do this to a point, we have all gone somewhere and said "oh I would so do this differently" because as an outsider you do see things differently. However, live that life, day in day out, on your own, surviving life and everything it throws at you, and things would be different. Volunteers have left bad mouthing me, my life, my rescue, and this in my opinion is not cool.

So, to say I'm nervous hell yeah, but as with everything in my life, I have committed to this stupid idea, and I will take the leap of faith that it will all be ok. A bit like when you leap out of a plane, and pray the parachute will open, same panic, same fear.