Sunday, 14 January 2018

Rescue For Sale!


Make me an offer..... before you do let me tell you all the really good bits...

  • There is no extra money laying around, the bank account, and Paypal are both empty so that pesky vets bill need paying soon. This means though you won't be burdened with lots of money sitting in bank accounts, whew you can start from zero, no worrying how to spend the millions everyone thinks we have.
  • You won't have to worry about finding animals, as we currently have many... two are filaria positive going through treatment, so that needs funding. Three need getting ready for adoption, so that money needs to be found, two bite and have issues, and four you can only go near with gloves. There are six big dogs that have been overlooked over and over, but hey who doesn't love a challenge! Of course these dogs are "special" but that only makes the rescue more valuable... no?
  • We will give you the list of people who are rude and shitty to me on a daily basis, and the ones that want your attention, every minute of every day. Also you will be given the long list of emails, and messages to answer, the applications to process, the home checks to arrange. Who loves free time anyway? Your family will get used to you never being around, and when you are the phone, laptop, and PC are all glued to you day and night answering the next emergency.
  • I'm sure if you buy the rescue you will be fine, you will get the perfect dogs, with no issues, that everyone wants, and will never return. I get that we were wrong for taking all the dogs no one else would. We should have concentrated on the fluffies that every rescue want, but Im sure you will make all the right decisions, and never make a mistake. 
  • Remember that you will never have a dull moment ever again, your life will be non stop excitement, with many adventures. There will be the people who simply like to shake it all up, because no one likes to be drama free for too long. Of course social media has given the trolls another platform to attack and abuse, but hey you have broad shoulders and can take it... no?
  • Most importantly, you will never have to make plans ever again, as when you do it all goes wrong, so better not to bother. Your life will be one long journey of vets, pounds, transports, feeding and cleaning. 
  • As a one off bonus, I am throwing in a whole society that love to moan, critacise, and belittle everything you will do. They will never offer help in any way, and love telling people how you do nothing for huge amounts of money. The "elite" rescue club is also available where a huge majority of other organisations and rescue people will stab you in the back, and try to tear you apart.... sounds fun doesn't it?
  • And the best part... the real deal breaker...... is that you will NEVER get paid for doing any of this, it is all voluntary, which means you will have to work as well. Who wants to be burdened with covering expenses anyway, it is so much more fun working a "real" job to cover everything. 

So....... join an orderly queue... who is in?

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