511 Days and Counting!

One of my white cats got cancer some years ago, and I made the decision to have her ears removed to save her life. The vet and I discussed the options, and at the time he told me it would buy her 500 days. I thought this was very precise, but shrugged it off as a guess.

The cat made a great recovery, all the cancer was removed, she adapted to no ears, in reality she didn't care at all. A week ago, a growth appeared on her face, I knew what it was but said nooooo its just due to the cold weather WTF does that even mean.

I took her to see the vet and he confirmed what I already knew the cancer was back, he asked if it had been 500 days, and I looked at him confused then remembered his words. I checked and it had been 506 days since her operation. How the hell can cancer be that precise, how the hell did it know!

I asked if anything could be done, and sadly no was the answer, I could remove half her face, but then it would appear somewhere else, all I can do is watch and wait. I am angry at the moment as why should she die just because cancer says so, why should she suffer because after 500 days the universe deems it is her time.

It is now 511 days, and literally every day I pray she has more, I want her to reach 550 and then 600 and then 700. Sadly, I know this won't happen, the cancer is spreading, and it is aggressive. For now I am taking every day as a success, one more that she says fuck you to cancer.

When the time is right I will let her go but for now she is fighting it, and I am making sure that she doesn't give up. Why is life so cruel, why is being an adult so hard, I think today I will go and make a blanket fort, and play with crayons, and forget all about the shit world we live in.