Teaching The Vet

I have Spanish vets, and when I first working with them they could speak very few English words. This had to change, and of course I wanted to teach them only the best, most useful words that they would use every day. I decided every time I saw them I would teach them a new word.

Now, I'm Irish, so I swear a lot, "fuck" falls out of my mouth very easily, so it was one of the first words my vet learnt. Quickly followed by "twat" "REALLY" and " for fuck sakes" ok thats more than one word, but you are getting the pattern. I couldn't ever be an English teacher!

As much as I teach them words, there are words that they try and say on their own, and of course they say the word wrong, which usually causes a laugh. Sheep was the perfect example, the vet said "ship" I was like nooooooo you have to say "sheep" he repeated "ship" so there is me and a vet in the clinic going "shhhhheeeeeeepppppppp"  with sheep mastered we moved on, as obviously he is going to use that daily NOT

There is one word that the vet used that stopped me in my tracks, and I actually spun round and went "pardon" We were discussing my ever growing bill,  when he looked up and said " Louise, your a cu*t" I was like helloooo that is a bit harsh, I know I owe you money but come on.

He saw my face, and repeated " Louise, your a cu*t", again "pardon" and he said am I saying it right "your a cu*t" this carried on for at least another 3 times, I then asked why? he looked confused, and I asked what was he trying to say ... the penny then dropped.

My ACCOUNT, he was trying to say ACCOUNT, not that I was a cu*t although many people may disagree. I explained that in English that was a bad word, really bad, and he must never ever say it to another English speaking person. So, we practiced "BILL" I thought we had cracked it, but the other day after many months, and no mention of me being a "cu*t" he sat at his desk and said those immortal words ..... "louise your a cu*t" ... I just smiled and said yes mr vet